Wednesday, May 14, 2025

Left Without Our Own Devices

So the coolest thing happened today. My phone died for a little while. 

I do not mean that like, "Oh my phone died better grab a charger and plug it in whoops!"  In fact it was plugged in and it was  supposedly charging and I was driving down the highway singing along to my Spotify playlist of choice (R.E.M. "Man on the Moon" was the tune) and suddenly nothing. 

First I kept driving with one hand while with the other I reached for the charger and tried re-plugging it into the phone to coax it to revitalize itself and whatnot and the screen was like, nope, no devices are connected, wouldn't you like to connect one?! and then I picked up the phone and it was so dead even though it had been plugged in for the last hour or so as I was driving around rurally rural Minnesconsin. 

You know, Minnesconsin? I was in that very very northwestern part of Wisconsin right up against the state line where the trees and the landscape and the vibes and the mosquitoes all feel a bit more like Minnesota. And you get Minnesota stations on the radio, which I find sort of vaguely freaky, being east of the Mississippi but having the Man on the Radio be all "K-letter-letter-letter" which I really never thought about that much before today.  Anyway, I've been hanging out in Ashland and Bayfield enjoying the Apostle Islands National Lakeshore and my favorite lake, Lake Superior (it's the most Superior of all the lakes) for a few days and today I checked out the tallest waterfall in Wisconsin, Big Manitou Falls, and then I was headed to get an iced coffee and start wending my way back down into Wisconsin-Wisconsin and the closest iced coffee to be had in a southerly direction was a Caribou Coffee in Hinckley, Minnesota and I was almost there when my phone died. 

One thing about me is that I have to basically be dragged kicking and screaming to get a new phone. My phone works and it has my things and why do I need a new one? has sort of been my take for the last two or three decades. But, every 3 years or so the planned obsolescence demands that I get a new one and we are at a solid 3.25 years on the current device and so I really feared that I was just really truly phone less. In rurally rural Minnesconsin. And without having yet confirmed my lodging destination for tonight.  

Do you realize how much we rely on our phones? 
I mean, I know you think you do.  We all chuckle about it nonchalantly all the time. Ha ha ha we are all so addicted to our phones ha ha ha.  But most of you flick on the GPS to drive to a freaking restaurant. You don't even have a little mini-spiral-bound Rand McNally atlas in your backpack (as I do). 

OK but let's focus on what was viscerally important: I was arriving in Hinckley, Minnesota, population 1800-ish, and I knew I had another hour before the closing time of the coffee, according to what my still-alive phone had told me an hour or so earlier in the state park, and I figured I could go in to the coffee shop, plug in my phone to the wall and see if that was any better than the car charging (that was not charging), and or get out my laptop to connect to worldly things. 

My phone always has issues with Android Auto. But because I don't own my own car right now (urban walkable lifestyle for the win!) I only remember this when I have a rental car, like this week. It does occur to me, occasionally at least, that updating my phone more often might alleviate this. Maybe if I had my own car I'd care. But it's always disconnecting and re-connecting, which is why it had taken me a second to grasp how really dead it was in the first place. Side if not obvious note that the oldness of my phone and charger also concerned me and so as I drove around this tiny town of Hinckley NOT in fact spotting the Caribou Coffee but spotting the True Value Hardware store, I thought, let me get a new charger and maybe solve some of this problem. 

The man in the hardware store dutifully led me to his Android phone chargers, lamented with me how dependent we are on phones now, and described to me how to get to the Caribou Coffee: it's IN Tobie's Restaurant at the gas station.  Ah. It's not a real Caribou Coffee. I mean, it has all the drinks and the espresso and such, so I got my iced latte, but what it doesn't have is anywhere to sit or plug in. 

So, back in the car with the iced latte I try connecting the phone with the new charger and it is just not having it. It seems to recognize, with a little lightning bolt, but then nothing, No 1%, nothing. It was time for desperate moves. I drove on down the road to the McDonald's parking lot, sat there in a parking spot, pulled out my laptop, used the new charger to plug THAT in and give it a little power, made a hotel reservation a couple hours down the highway, and thought about how many road trips I went on in my late teens and early twenties with nary a smartphone in sight.  

What is wrong with us? Seriously? Why can't we make plans anymore? 

But beyond that, why must I use the phone for every thing? 

Because now it's later and I'm in a hotel room and my phone has charged after being plugged into an outlet (it was simply NOT having the car connection, clearly) and I really do need to get a new phone but this one might just get me through a few more days as I head home and all, but I'm sitting here typing on my laptop with my phone purposefully across the room from me. And I started thinking about how very many web sites demand two-factor authentication.  Both work-related and personal. I am forever entering the codes sent to my phone. What if I needed one of those earlier?  What is this brave new world we have created where every other moment of our existence sends us scurrying to this stupid device that is tracking everything we do (and say!) and selling all the data to billionaires galore?  How many hours could I last without using my phone, before some company demanded I access it in order to log in to their site? Let alone how work demands its use (without offering anyone company cell phones - I mean just to log in to fckng Microsoft or Salesforce or whatever). 

For me, text messaging is the biggest thing I miss if I don't have my phone or it's charging in another room; it's what I check most often throughout the day. So I mean, that's a decent reason to use a device frequently  - in contact with actual human beings one actually knows. 

But it really annoys me that banking and credit cards and email programs and work profiles and Outlook and several other daily task things send me to my phone before I can use them on a laptop.

I really really want to do some kind of a 72-hours-without-phone challenge.  I seriously don't know if it's possible at this point in the way my daily life is constructed - and workplace apps and two-factor authentication are the biggest parts of that. 

How long do you think you could go without touching your phone?   

Sunday, March 02, 2025

Who Wore It Better? - 2024 Oscar-nominated flicks edition

Who Wore It Better? is my new annual blog post about the things that weirdly showed up in more than one Oscar-nominated film this Awards Season. In fact, this year it's more than two films in a lot of instances, making it a game of Who Wore It Best? instead. 

Non-Human Primates: 
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, Better Man, Wicked



As Peter Brady reminds us, "A primate has / the size and shape / of a monkey, a man, or any old ape!"
I have spent a LOT of time with Apes over the last few weeks, OK?  I made a side quest for myself to watch ALL of the Planet of the Apes films from Charlton Heston through this year's Kingdom of..., which I spent the last month doing in all my (not!) free time. Better Man, the whole time you're just like - why are we doing this effect, again?  And Wicked  is of course amazing but this isn't even in the top ten best things about it. 
Who Wore It Best?  Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes.  (I'm a full-fledged devotee at this point.)
 

Iranian Father-Daughter Drama With Trees In The Title: 
The Seed of the Sacred Fig, In the Shadow of the Cypress 

Who Wore It Better? The Seed of the Sacred Fig.  One of the best films of the year. Don't miss it. In the Shadow of the Cypress  was an inscrutable fever dream.  Sacred Fig was vivid and heartbreaking. 

Robots That May Or May Not Perform The Tasks You Want Them To:
The Wild Robot, Wallace and Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl, Alien: Romulus, I'm Not A Robot 

Who Wore It Best?  Everyone knows I'm Team Flow for Animated Feature; I found The Wild Robot kind of annoying. (The film and the robot itself.) The gnomes in Wallace ... Fowl were psychotic, but, spoiler alert also kind of saved the day. I hadn't watched an Alien... film in some time and enjoyed Romulus. But without spoilers, I'll say the Live Action Short I'm Not A Robot  wore it best - if you think you are in control of your robot situation, you might wanna take that hubris down a notch. 

People In Rome Trying To Figure Out Who Should Be In Charge: 
Conclave, Gladiator II 

Conclave is sharp, tense, and riveting. Gladiator II is totally unhinged. These power struggle stories are great in different ways. Who Wore It Better?   TIE! 

Injecting Yourself With Substances Provided By Questionable Professionals In An Attempt To Make Your Body and Your Life Different: 
The Substance, Emilia Perez



I absolutely love The Substance with all of my sardonic, profound, socio-philosophical, cynical being. I think E.P. is a goddamn mess. Singing terrible songs about phalloplasty and pretending people can change sex? No thanks. A vicious takedown of the pressures to look good imposed from without and from within, courtesy of no-holds-barred performances from two amazing actresses? Yes, please.
Who Wore It Better? The Substance. By far. 
 
European Actresses Who Starred in a Recent International Foreign Language Nominee And Showed Up This Year To Star In An English Language (or mostly) Nominee
Leonie Benesch from The Teachers' Lounge in this year's September 5
Renate Reinsve from The Worst Person In The World in this year's A Different Man

Both were good. Both had me going "Wait a minute, I know her!" and scurrying to IMDB (because I am the worst person in the world at recognizing faces). Leonie had a more demanding and dramatic role in some ways.  Who Wore It Better?  Leonie in September 5

Man/Men Titles: 
Better Man, A Different Man, The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent, Beautiful Men
(dishonorable mention (get it): real-life man nominated for a Best Actress award despite being a man)



Who Wore It Best? If for nothing else, let's reward The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent for having a distinctive title.  (Nah but also he was awesome for standing up. Sad short film. Sadly relevant too.) 


This Isn't Your Grandma's Musician Biopic: 
A Complete Unknown, Better Man, Maria 

Did you have a friend who was reluctant to see these movies because s/he's sick of biopics?  Did you, like me try to convince said friend that this year's crop of biopics are a little bit different from some of the usual fare?  Two of these opted to tell a brief period of the subject's life, rather than a whole life story, and one was more traditional in a starting-in-childhood kind of way but was off-the-hook original in its vibrancy and chimpanzee representation of the main character.  
Who Wore It Best?  I loved A Complete Unknown, as it spoke directly to my heart, but as a weird and surprising biopic? Better Man.  I can't believe how well it worked

Not pictured, for obvious reasons, but still judged

Men (#whyaremen) in New York buying human flesh, paying women to have sex with them, in the prostitution industry that is rotten to its core while also weirdly creepy and not-at-all-private as everyone does their business barely separated by a wall or maybe only a few inches of space:  Anora, The Brutalist

Immediately after seeing The Brutalist  I told people, this movie pummels you for four hours of your life, but one thing I noticed about it that was great was the scene where the men fresh off the boat pay for some sexual relations, and the scene manages to not objectify women and women's bodies at all. It was the exact opposite of similar scenes in Anora in every way.  More like this, please? The Brutalist wore this depiction of awfulness better. 

Animated Short male anatomy, specifically, the penis, or several of them: Wander to Wonder, Beautiful Men
These two short films traumatized me. 
Who Wore It Better? A big fat neither one.  

I mean clearly the big winner of Oscars season is men, men, men everywhere. Ugh. Men need to calm down. 

This concludes this year's edition of Who Wore It Better? aka  JFC What  A Year. 


Completed Cateogry: Best Picture

 Oscars Day is here! 
Everything is terrible in current events - but we still have the Oscars.
(Which also have some terrible things happening.) 

Best Picture

Anora
The Brutalist
A Complete Unknown
Conclave
Dune: Part Two
Emilia Perez
I'm Still Here
Nickel Boys
The Substance
Wicked

Remember: The interesting thing about the Best Picture race, nowadays, is that in the era of the preferential ballot voting (aka ranked choice voting), anything can happen!  And if your movie gets a lot of second, third, and fourth place votes, that can help you more than getting a bunch of first and last place votes. 

If I were a Best Picture ballot-wielding Academy member voting today, I... would be late, first of all, as voting has already closed.  But if I were a Best Picture ballot-wielding Academy member voting on time two weeks ago let's say, here is my ballot! 

Order I want them to win - and due to human psychology, affected by "knowing" other people will be voting for certain films: 
1.I'm Still Here   2.The Substance  3. Conclave  4. A Complete Unknown   5.Wicked   6.Dune: Part Two 7.Anora  8.The Brutalist 

not getting any votes on my ballot (because, simply, I don't want them to win Best Picture - I'm not actually saying there is nothing redeeming about the films. I'm saying I do not think either of them deserves to win Best Picture, and therefore I won't give them even my 9th or 10th place vote for Best Picture):  Nickel Boys, Emilia Perez

The five movies that I loved are in my top five spots, with a bit of playing with the order in which I loved them just a bit, to try to put my (fake) vote where it can do the most. My #1 and #2 choices here, are partly because I do NOT think either of those will be the first one eliminated. (I also loved them.)  When things start to get serious, I want Conclave to get my vote over Anora and The Brutalist, so I can't put that too far down. I'm sad that I don't think A Complete Unknown has a chance in this category, but I did love it, as I did Wicked, which has slightly more of a chance here of getting loads of second and third place votes.  Then spots 6 through 8 are simply the order I want them to have my vote. 

Order I think they will win: 
Anora  or Conclave- I'm still not sure which, The Brutalist,  I'm Still Here, Wicked, The Substance, A Complete Unknown, Emilia Perez, Dune Part Two, Nickel Boys   

Saturday, March 01, 2025

Completed Category: Visual Effects

 It's my last completed category! I watched my last of this year's nominees today! 
I'm a #Completist. 

Visual Effects
Alien:Romulus
Better Man
Dune Part Two
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
Wicked 

Furthermore, the reason that the last movie I watched, today, was the last nominee I watched is because I additionally set a side quest for myself: to re-watch/watch ALL of the Planet of the Apes movies, starting with the 1968 Charlton Heston original, through the sequels, the remake, and the excellent reboots, ending with this year's nominee. And I did it!  I triumphed over Oscars season. I am a completist AND I did a side quest.  So many apes. I got really into these last few - which have also been nominated for Visual Effects, during years when I didn't complete all the nominees and had a few rogue leftover Makeup, Sound, Song, Visual or other random flicks still to watch. But this year, I decided to correct this situation, check off a few more past nominees, and why not just watch all ten Apes movies, eh? 

So: should Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes win Visual Effects?

Well, I mean, that would be fine. These reboots are so well done, with the motion capture and this wondrously imagined world. (I'm actually going to miss it, after being so devoted to my Apes for a few weeks here). 

But is it more likely that Dune: Part Two or Wicked will win this category?  Yes, I think so.  Dune: Part Two is gorgeous and a stunning achievement and I think everybody wants to give it some technical awards.  On the other hand, First Dune did win some a few years ago, and we also have another gorgeous achievement, Wicked, which everybody wants to give some awards, but then again, they know there will be a second Wicked, so ...?  It's confusing. 

Alien: Romulus also created a world although a lot of it was on a spaceship, and while it paid some fun homage to the original Alien flicks, it might just be an honor to be nominated. 

Better Man is the weird nominee here; it's a fancifully, inventively done biopic of Robbie Williams, who is far more famous in the U.K. than the U.S.A., and who is depicted in the entire film as a monkey. I cannot explain for the life of me why this works so well but it's really marvelous and quite enjoyable. It would be delightful and amusing if it wins over the big multiple-noms films. 

Order I want them to win: 
I don't even know. It's the end of Oscars season! I'm so tired. 

Order I think they will win: 
Dune: Part Two, Wicked, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, Better Man, Alien: Romulus 

Well - which Visual Effects nominee do you think is the best? 
The best film overall? The best technical achievement? Both? 

And, are you a #completist? 

Thursday, February 27, 2025

Completed Category: Documentary Feature

My second-to-last completed category!  One more nominee to see after this. 

Documentary Feature Film
Black Box Diaries
No Other Land
Porcelain War
Soundtrack To A Coup d'Etat
Sugarcane

Let me just say, once again, that whether a documentary is interesting or good is not based on the topic.

 There can be an amazing documentary about a subject in which I have no interest that has me riveted. Or, the opposite: a topic I would love to know more about can be covered in a terrible documentary, making for an excruciating 2.5 hours, such as is the case with Soundtrack To A Coup d'Etat.  Holy cow is this a boring look at the mid-twentieth century tragic and murderous foreign policy of Belgium and the U.S., and political shenanigans in the Congo, up to and including the murder of Patrice Lumumba. I am deeply interested in this history! This documentary bored me immensely. Also, it was irritating. There's this whole jazz motif going on, and it drove me straight up a wall.  I really don't like jazz and I'm pretty sure that's related to how much I hate this film.  The film is constructed of various jazz music that is sometimes lyrically appropriate and sometimes relevant because the film at that time is talking about when Louis Armstrong or whoever traveled to Africa at that time -- so many layers, like a piece of jazz music, right?  Ugh. It was awful. There were actually close-ups of people singing where you could see their saliva - gross, shudder.  And the shots of Dizzy Gillespie's puffy cheeks gave me the fantods. Now, on the other hand, the frequent clips of Malcolm X talking were by far a highlight of this film - more of that, please. Less of everything else.  Side note: this is not solely about "We Didn't Start the Fire" (Belgians in the Congo!) but also a fair bit of Car 54 Where Are You?  (Khrushchev's due at Idlewild!) 

Anyway. Onto the four good documentaries! 

Black Box Diaries - haunting, stunning achievement, quite personal while being globally relevant, as one woman documents her pursuit of justice in the aftermath of a sexual assault. Why are men. 

No Other Land -  depressing, infuriating look at oppressively macho Israeli military posturing over a bit of land that they would like to forbid Palestinians to live on, for no discernible reason.  

Porcelain War - still more depressing stuff, with art and nature and beauty struggling to keep their heads above the mass of violent warfare that is the Russian invasion of and war in Ukraine.  

Sugarcane -  another personal depiction that meanders through major trauma and its effects years and decades later on the survivors of "Indian schools" in Canada as well as on their descendants. I really thought this was well done, with the weaving of one personal search for healing amid the wider community and even world search for healing related to this horrible bit of history. 

There is really only one that I can't bear to see win, but my order in which I'd like to see them win:  Sugarcane, Black Box Diaries, Porcelain War  (really, any of those three!), then No Other Land

Order in which I think they'll win: 
Maybe Porcelain War? Or Black Box Diaries.  I might like Sugarcane more than some other people do, but I did notice Lily Gladstone's name as an Executive Producer, which probably means she'll have  successfully campaigned it to some extent.  No Other Land probably won't work for some people. I don't know who votes for Soundtrack to a Coup d'Etat ... Steely Dan fans? Overwrought fever dreaming men? I don't know. 

Which documentary did you think was the best? 



Tuesday, February 25, 2025

Completed Category: International Feature

I greatly enjoy foreign films. One of my favorite categories! 

International Feature Film
Flow
Emilia Perez
The Seed of the Sacred Fig
I'm Still Here
The Girl With The Needle

This year? Not easy, my friends. 

There are four incredible cinematic accomplishments and one travesty of a nomination. I do not see how any member of this or any other Academy who watches all five of these could even consider voting for the abject mess that is Emilia Perez.

Flow is a sweet little cat film 🐈‍⬛️ and misfit friends story with no dialogue and lots of struggles and success, as we have mentioned elsewhere. Welcome to this party,  Latvia! If Flow loses both here and in Animated, I'll be devastated.

The Seed of the Sacred Fig is such a well-done look at Iran; it skillfully incorporates real-life videos of protests from recent years while placing you into this family's little world, then creating tension that sneaks up on you and builds to a fever pitch. 

I'm Still Here, also nominated for Actress in a Leading Role (Fernanda Torres) and freaking Best Picture is incredible - except that it depicts a true Brazil story - and I've not felt sadder in some time than I did after watching this loving family experience man-made tragedy. 

And then last night I watched The Girl With The Needle, which is a slow burn but then dear gods will it mess you up. There are so many questions to contemplate about these characters and their choices. What should we do, what can we do, why are men, why are humans, why any of it? Go see it knowing absolutely nothing! Other than: humans, poverty, Denmark, war, devastation, black and white -- the film, not life choices. But prepare for heart palpitations. 

Order I want them to win:  Any of the three, seriously. Maybe Seed of the Sacred Fig, I'm Still Here, The Girl With The Needle. Next Flow only because it better freaking be winning Animated. And then a giant huge gap bigger than sixty- four Grand Canyons, and then gtfo E.P.

Order I think they will win:
I'm Still Here maybe possibly please. Then stupid freaking E. Perez because humans are the worst. Then the others... although if the voters have the sense the gods gave a goose then they'll do the right thing here. Which is to say, do anything but the worst thing. 


Sunday, February 23, 2025

Completed Category: Live Action Shorts

I headed down to my local cinema to finish off the Shorts today. 

Live Action Short Film
A Lien
Anuja 
I'm Not A Robot
The Last Ranger
The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent 

Three of these are available for you to watch online, which I did do over the past few weeks, and that's great because then when I go to the theatre to catch the others, during the ones I've already seen I can either re-watch, or I can go get my popcorn refill! 

This is definitely one of the years that I prefer the Live Action Shorts to the Animated Shorts.  They are  all a little depressing, though.  Why are humans?  I do continue to ask this question.  Also, there were a couple of my fellow moviegoers chatting in the lobby afterwards who were flummoxed by how these Shorts left things unresolved at the end.  It's a fair point; it was very Lady-or-the-Tiger-esque up in the Live Action Shorts.  At any rate, issues presented include: immigration/deportation/removal by ICE, child labor/opportunity for education, authoritarian regimes on the verge of genocide, humanity vs. robots, and the murder of innocent animals by poachers for their tusks & horns so that some horrible men can get rich and or feel more "virile" and strong.  #WHYAreMen, seriously.  

Order I want them to win: 
The Last Ranger, The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent, honestly this is so hard, I won't be mad if any of them win, maybe Anuja-A Lien then I'm Not A Robot? This is not to really take anything away from I'm Not A Robot. This category might be the least dud-ly of all the categories.

Order I think they will win: 
Wow I really don't know. They're all so timely. I'd like some others to weigh in here! 
But maybe A Lien (timely) or The Last Ranger (infuriating but galvanizing)? , The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent -- so timely -- then I'm Not A Robot (also so timely) and Anuja?  Dude, I don't know. 

What do you think? 

 


Checking In With One Week To Go

As of 1:30 pm on Sunday (Feb 23) one week before the Oscars, here's where I am: 

I have four more categories to complete. 
* Live Action Shorts
* International Feature Film 
* Documentary Feature Film 
* Visual Effects 

I have completed: 
Documentary Shorts, Animated Shorts, Animated Feature
Lead Actress, Lead Actor, Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress  
Directing, Adapted Screenplay, Original Screenplay
Cinematography, Editing, Production Design 
Makeup & Hairstyling, Costume Design 
Sound, Original Song, Original Score
and Best Picture 

So far I have mixed feelings about a lot of the categories, but especially the Acting awards, because there is such egregious category fraud going on in the Supporting races, and it's all but a foregone conclusion that the fraudulent will win. It's so annoying. 

The Documentary Features (I have one left) and Documentary Shorts, as in so many years, are amazing, and devastating. 

Speaking of brutal things, I do still think The Brutalist will win stuff. Will it win all the stuff?  Will it triumph over buzz-a-licious Anora?  Can The Substance sneak in and win a few things -- and will it definitely win for Actress (Demi Moore) and  Makeup?  Will Wicked get a slew of well-deserved visual and technical awards or will the wealth be spread around?  Could we have a blessedly Emilia Perez-free evening?  How amazing would that be. A step toward making up for the EEAAO year we recently suffered through. 

And will we ever know why there are so many monkeys? 

By the way, I launched myself on an additional project during this year's Oscar viewing. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes is nominated for Visual Effects. Now, the last few Apes reboots have also been so nominated, but I wasn't able to be a completist in those years, and in my non-completist years it's often been a few rogue Makeup, Song, or Visual Effects nominees that are the ones lacking and I have not watched any of the reboot series. This year, I knew I'd be a completist, which would entail watching Kingdom...Apes, and so I decided a few weeks ago to watch all of the Planet of the Apes movies -- all of them.  Starting with a re-watch of the original 1968 Planet of the Apes that I saw in my childhood. And that has been my side quest, in between watching this year's nominated flicks.  During the past months I have re-watched or watched all five of the original series (some are far worse than others) and am now catching up on the modern ones, and will end with Kingdom...  thus completing both my Apes side quest and my Oscar-nominated 2024 films main quest later this week, if all goes according to plan and the world doesn't, like, collapse in the next few days or anything. 

So, coming up this week will be: 
Four more completed categories
Best Picture (which is done, but have to save that category post for last) 
Perhaps a ranking of all the nominated films
Perhaps another edition of Who Wore It Better? 

Enjoy the last week of Oscar season!