Thursday, March 03, 2011

Annoying Group of People #4: The Whiners Suing Groupon

I hate customers' sense of entitlement. Sometimes people just really frost my gizzard, and whiny, too-entitled customers are high on the list. I read today that there is a class action suit against Groupon because Groupon deals have expiration dates. SO some numbskulls have brought a class action against Groupon in Illinois, where gift certificates are not allowed to expire. There are a few other states like this too - I personally greatly enjoyed my time as a Borders floor manager in California and Massachusetts (as we all know), and in those stores we occasionally had whiny, entitled customers who came in with some gift card they'd had sitting around for ten years demanding we take it. Here's the thing: the smug ones who got all uppity with me, declaring, "I know you have to take this gift card! It's illegal for it to expire!" were sort of sad when I would magically override the expiration date in the register with my mysterious managerial powers because GUESS WHAT you dumb-ass customer? We KNOW the law, too! And we have workarounds! Wow, our nationwide company operating in multiple states actually knows how to operate in those states! Can you, my dumb-ass customer, also function in multiple states, or do you have trouble even leaving your house in the morning and/or finding your own state on a map?

But back to Groupon. I read today that the cl-jack-ass-action lawsuit says Groupon is not actually a coupon (which can expire) but a gift certificate (which can't expire) because customers purchase the deal. What a bunch of losers. I have personally bought deals from Groupon-like deal suppliers (and I subscribe to Groupon, too, but I just happen to be out of the country right now) and I can personally tell you it is not that hard to read the expiration date. Some loser is pissed because he never got around to playing Whirleyball at an amazingly good price. OH WELL. I think he had six months to use it, but he wanted the minimum requirement under Illinois law for a gift certificate, which is five years. Too bad, buddy, I think people who commit such acts of idiotic self-entitlement should be sent off to Libya to help protect demonstrators from murderous government forces and then maybe they'll think twice about what is really "unconscionable" (and yes, they used that word in the lawsuit. Unconscionably short expiration dates.)

First kill all the lawyers? How about first kill all the clients who bring such jackass complaints to lawyers in the first place?

3 comments:

Kim Diaz said...

OK - first of all - just to be clear: Coupons are one thing, gift cards are something else. I agree with whichever Californian judicial entity said that gift cards do not expire because they are like cash - they have been paid for by the customer with money, and they are merely worth a certain, fixed amount of currency, the same amount that the customer doled out to begin with, and this does not change over time. Fine. Coupons? As far as I know, no one actually pays money, dollar for dollar, for coupons. At least not in my universe. Coupons are for discounts, they are a boon granted by the service or product provider. That's my view. Thank you.

linda said...

How about this: it's neither a coupon nor a gift certificate, it's a deal, purchased via Groupon. And it expires. And it has X value. And get the eff over it. And if you don't like it, don't buy it. The end.

Anonymous said...

Groupon people are so f'n annoying - a bunch of cheap ass whiners. If a restaurant does groupon, I stop going. Don't want to be around those people.