A Comparison to Hitler

Yesterday I mentioned that Hank Williams Jr. did not in fact set out to compare Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler, but I also mentioned that if he had done so, it would not have been a mortal sin (as it were), in my opinion. Of course, there's this whole "free speech" thing people like to jabber about (but not actually practice), but there's the additional fact that comparing someone to something extreme to make a point is a valid rhetorical tactic. Also, I frankly think that comparing oneself to Hitler ought to be encouraged. After all, who could possibly make you look better in a comparison than Hitler? If I compare myself to Gandhi, or Voltaire, or Gloria Steinem, or Steve Nash, well, then I have a lot to live up to. But Hitler? Let's take a look:

Hitler: Spoke fluent German
Me: Did very well in German class in high school

Hitler: Leader of Nazi party, chancellor, head of state
Me: Student government secretary

Hitler and Me: Both Tauruses!

Hitler: Wrote a famous book, Mein Kampf
Me: Wrote a lot of stuff, absolutely none of it famous (yet)

Hitler: Responsible for the deaths of millions of people
Me: Responsible for the deaths of dozens of insects, including cockroaches and one particularly memorable centipede in the bathtub

Hitler: Anti-communist
Me: "Communism is just a red herring." - Clue

Hitler: Racially motivated policies
Me: Cheese enchilada-motivated policies

Hitler and Me: Both sang in the church choir when we were young

Hitler: Decorated for bravery in World War I
Me: Pacifist

So those are some of the ways that I am like or not like Hitler. Now, you try!