Saturday, April 25, 2015

I never understood / the frequency

I have two questions, or possibly the same question about two things.

First, to those of you who are bothered when others have an "intense conversation" or "passionate debate," what is it that bothers you about that? I mean, I ask this from the most genuine place of ignorance. What exactly is the problem? For example, among co-workers, or friends gathered having a barbecue or whatever. Let's say someone brings up "should there be a $15 minimum wage?" or "The Iraq war sure was a dastardly joke, eh?" or "Immigration sucks!" or whatever the case may be, and then two or more people have a conversation and it becomes "intense" or "passionate." Who cares? Why do you care? So many times, people have commented on this, asked the passionate debaters to stop, made comments such as "OK, guys, take it easy" or "Look what you started!" to the person who made an initial remark. Sometimes you can tell that someone is uncomfortable because of the two other people having a debate. Why? What precisely is it that makes you uncomfortable about two other people talking? I truly want to know.

Next question. Related, I suppose, but this is more of an interpersonal focus. Sometimes someone is talking about an issue and either someone tells the person, "Now, don't get emotional" or else the speaker takes it upon him/herself to apologize for "getting emotional." Why? What is wrong with "getting emotional?" I mean, what exactly is the negative thing there?  Why are emotions bad? To the extent that "getting emotional" is code for "crying," I still don't understand. Why exactly do you care if someone cries? Do you care if they laugh? Smile? Pray? Dance the hula? Why does crying threaten to ruin everything? They're just tears. They're not going to hurt you. They're not even contagious.

I'm not looking for the answer that society has somehow deemed these methods of talking and expression inappropriate. I'm asking why. What, specifically, is the problem?

Inquiring minds want to know. And I mean, really really really want to know.

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