Grocery Shoppers Need to Get in Line!

What is it about grocery store lines that makes people think they have the right to push, shove, and crowd the person in front of them? I'm talking to - well, most of you people. This isn't one of those things where I think "there are two kinds of people in the world - all my friends and all the stupid people." No, regrettably, I fear many of you are guilty of this one. You are so impatient in grocery store lines and when you hit that conveyor belt and the  little space between the gum/magazine racks, you lose your minds. Not to mention all sense of politeness.

I mean, can you imagine that kind of activity in a line somewhere else -- the bank, or Starbucks, say? Pushing up against the person in front of you, advancing to the counter before they are finished, and all the shifting! The impatient shifting!

To be honest, it cracks me up. And you know what else it does? It slows me down. That's right, you impatient grocery shoppers. You are only making it worse for yourselves. As soon as someone bumps me from behind, which usually happens when the person in front of me (sometimes two in front of me!) is still paying, I plant my feet, and I do not move until it is my turn. That really freaks out some of the line freaks: "Oh my god! Everyone moved up three inches but this lady in front of me is NOT MOVING UP THREE INCHES!! What do I do?"  Shove shove shove. But I remain fixed. I have actually had someone tap me before and say, "Ma'am...?" and gesture to the six inches or whatever of space I had not moved up into. I said, "Oh, are you referring to the few inches of space in front of me?"

Then, when I pay, I usually do so with a debit card but as a Visa purchase, not a PIN purchase. You know what that means? I sign my name. You know what that means? I have a really long name. I can sign it quickly, just kind of do the capital 'N' and then a squiggle for the rest. Or, in cases like these, I can neatly, painstakingly, carefully write in beautiful cursive the a-p-i-k-gotta love those cursive Ks, looped back around, neatly, neatly, -o-s-oooh! here's another k!-i. Aaaand, don't forget to carefully dot the Is! I have had clerks in stores reach for the receipt three or four times before I am actually finished. I love it. The person behind me, meanwhile, is having absolute fits.

They need to chill out. It will be their turn when I am finished, and not before. 

This blog post was written because Karen Curtis, who kindly donated to my upcoming Habitat for Humanity trip to Cambodia, selected the topic of people who crowd her in the checkout lines. But I happen to not only agree with her 100% that crowding in the store checkout line is rude, but also I take it to the next level of actively trying to slow those people down. So, that view is my own, but I had no problem giving you my interpretation of this issue. I think you all need to calm down in the grocery store lines! And don't touch me.