Let them blow out bargains

Happy Bastille Day!

I would like to point out that, you know, hypothetically speaking, if I were to work for a really silly company that is quaking in its financial boots and this silly company were to launch a desperate attempt to see some sales figures in the form of a crazy nationwide sale in which customers who are "sensitive to bargains right now" were invited to come in to see balloons, bright yellow tablecloth, and cheap products for sale in CARDBOARD BOXES on the front table in some kind of masquerade of big retail cheap-ass bargain basement deals, and in this hypothetical world if I were to be in charge of setting up such a thing and were to spend hours upon hours at work laughing hysterically at the hypocritical, inane, and basically absurd instruction sheets, let alone the comic relief provided by the display itself, tempered only by the frightful notion that this company is trying to sell off anything it can get people to buy in order to do SOMETHING about its pitiful situation, then my co-workers and managers and I, who at the end of the evening in this hypothetical world would want nothing more than to get the hell out of there and go drink a glass of wine, would fantasize about staging a coup, and taking the power out of the hands of fools, and it would be only too appropriate if all of this were to take place on Bastille Day.

Laissez-lire!